My mindset used to be narrow in many ways as a young adult especially around the time when it came to making my own food choices. As many know via Instagram, my relationship with food hasn’t always been the healthiest starting at the age of 18. This was around the time I begin to explore the health and wellness industry. I was going to school for nutrition and during that time I started to search for the “perfect” diet which took me too far into restriction. I’ve experienced the nasty cycle of bingeing and purging while being trapped in the depths of body image negativity.
Did I just come off too strong? Welcome. This isn’t anything new as sharing parts of my story has helped others and even myself over the past few years. I’m just a real human being who shows up online with an intention. I’m open to questions, so say hello!
Learning about health and wellness can be fun and exciting! However, what happens when we take it too far? What happens when passion becomes obsession and the next thing you know, all of your meals are being modified whether it’s at home or while ordering out? Now, I’m not here to hate whatsoever, but rather I’m trying to express a different opinion in the scrolling world of health and wellness. Let’s be honest, not all of the real wellness stuff is making it to the scroll.
Nutrition can be confusing because it is a very controversial topic as new research continues to pop up. For those with chronic illness and disease who cannot eat specific foods, I respect and support the decisions you need to make because I also believe in fueling ourselves for longevity. Most of all, I believe that we are all entitled to making our own choices and while food has a powerful impact in health, it doesn’t make up our entire wellbeing.
Let me cut to the point, when there’s a full-time focus on your diet, it’s too much. When your diet stops you from living and going about your daily life, it’s too much. When it becomes a distraction, it’s too much. When it makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s too much. When you feel like you’re resisting from just wanting to be you, it’s too much. Most of all, when you start hiding from friends and loved ones, it’s too much.
A constant search for wellness will not lead you to wellness. We’re human. We need breaks. Balance is hard to maintain, but we especially need that too.
What we need most to survive is real food. I’ve mentioned so much of this time after time again, so take it as a serious reminder for those currently struggling: Basic wholesome foods is enough. It’s one base to health. How we choose to consume and form relationships with food is also another base of health.
I like to think back and act in simpler times. You know, the older eras I can only dream of before the noise came along with diet culture. No weighing or measuring of food. No food rules. Just intuitive eating. Actually sitting there with your food and enjoying it. Sometimes I’ll even eat in silence. Is that strange to admit? These days, I also thoroughly enjoy helping myself to seconds without question and I don’t feel ashamed for what I order while out with my friends.
I’m aware that we live in the millennium, so many of us don’t always have time to slow down before rushing out of the door! What I understand more than anything else is that not everyone can afford what’s being displayed in wellness. I gave up many “trendy” products late last year as I transitioned into a new path of my career. With that being said, I made sacrifices to readjust my focus. During that time, I was reminded that they are not a necessity to my health because look at me. I’m alive and well! Some days, groceries weren’t affordable and I just had to eat to survive. No fancy 10 ingredient meals. Some days were 2 ingredient meals. Although this was a temporary state, it brought me to many realizations.
To take this further more, many things I have seen over the years has put off the wrong idea of wellness. Privilege plays a huge role and I’m certainly guilty for the things I’ve done in the past too. It almost has an adverse effect on people’s health because it makes wellness look unattainable. It seems impossible for those just trying to make a living. It also has many people questioning what’s going onto their plate these days.
And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that it makes people feel bad because they don’t have access. Reflecting back, I feel like an ass for partaking in so much nonsense, but I can only blame myself. I was also finishing up a very long healing journey and felt a lot of confusion. However, this isn’t a sob story. It’s just my truth.
Earlier this year, I began to question the person I really want to be. I realized how exclusive I was being with all of the products I have shared in the past leading to many reasons why I backed away. My mind got sucked into the wellness blogger world and things began shifting in a way I thought they had to be in order to keep going. To continue to be a role model in the health industry, I thought I needed to uphold a specific image. An image that didn’t exactly feel true to me, but made me feel like I could possibly be accepted into the scene.
I also have to say that much of this came from a place of creativity and genuinely wanting to help others, but damn! When all of my plates began to look like an Instagram post and more importantly, when I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, I really began to question my health. Does this really make me happy? Or was I just trying to please others? I also started to question who I was trying to impress.
I still enjoy learning about health and wellness! I still love scrolling and feeling inspired by delicious dishes made by chefs! You’ll still catch me drinking a green juice because I actually love the taste, but maybe not 7 days a week. You’ll still catch me enjoying tacos and chocolatey baked goods. I enjoy all kinds of foods in moderation!
What you won’t catch me doing is sharing every single meal I’m eating because sharing every detail of my day does not bring me pleasure and I don’t believe it’s good for the health of those who come into this space either. I used to feel a pressure that I needed to constantly prove myself all hours of the day in order to be seen and heard. I’ve finally accepted that I don’t have do that and I actually get to show up in this space however I choose.
I’m in a happier place since stepping away from creating all of the food content that I was. I’ve also decided that foodie things will still pop up here and there because food is a fun way to connect with others! I find cooking meditative again now that’s it’s not an obsession because there’s a major difference in obsession and passion. They don’t always work well together, so if there’s anything you’re going to take away from here today, carefully evaluate your defining line of wellness.